Seriously?
Day 48 - already? Granted it hasn't been a perfectly smooth timeframe, but none the less, wow time flies!
Today I am really getting back into the Word, preparing to pick back up in the Bible in a month schedule tomorrow. Considering February is a shorter month, I am literally going to pick up where I left off, starting on day five.
Right now I am very apprehensive about being in the Word right now. As much as I hate to say this, I feel like I am just waiting to be told something crazy and mind blowing from God, and that whatever it is, I won't really want to do it. I don't know how much of this is true, but after yesterday, and everything else God has placed on my heart, I don't know what I am waiting for. I feel as though if I were to listen just a bit harder, God would give me clear direction but I'm afraid of that direction, and only allow my prayers and readings to go surface deep.
Why is this?
I think it's fair to say I am a bold person. My personality can be somewhat abrasive at times - so why is it in things that matter most, I back down? Why is it that I struggle with fully allowing God to be the Lord of my life? That's what all of this boils down to. I struggle with allowing him to be the complete, total Lord of my life. When God calls me to obedience, why do I struggle so much to just say, 'Yes Lord!'
As I was reading in Matthew today, I couldn't help but be intimidated by Jesus as he was talking to the disciples. It was the chapters where Jesus is telling the disciples to go out into the cities and heal the sick, perform miracles, shake off the dust - we all know the story.
I think what I get intimidated by is just how purposed Jesus is. I am sure Jesus laughed and smiled and had light hearted times in his life - I'm sure he did - yet we don't see that. What is reflected in his Word is how driven and focused he always was. The simplest of things became a new spiritual lesson, to the point where it almost seems off topic at times.
At one point one of the disciples approaches Jesus and says, "Hey, your mom's looking for you." His response isn't, "Oh, give me a few more minutes. I'll go see what she wants." Of course not. The interruption is worked right into his lesson, "The people that follow the will of the Father - they are my family."
There was never a missed opportunity; to us it may not have even been an opportunity to begin with, yet Jesus was able to make the most of each encounter and circumstance. To me that's intimidating. That's the example I am supposed to follow! I need to be just as kingdom focused as Jesus was! What a challenge!
Not that I have to miss life and seclude myself in a mountain to pursue after holiness, but I do feel that at the end of the day, people that rub shoulders with me should know what my life is about. If people we talk to and associate with don't even know that we are followers of Christ, my are we missing the mark!
I wish that I had words of wisdom right now to sum up my thoughts, but I don't really find I have those words today. I do know that I am looking forward to being at church on Sunday. The body of Christ is such an incredible part that God always intended of his children to be an active part of. I am very blessed by it.
:)
It's almost February
Posted by
Karissa
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Time flies by! We are already into the year 2013 and the first month is so quickly coming to a close. On top of that, I feel like I haven't blogged in so long. To cut to the chase, some of this stems down to the fact that I haven't read my bible in three days, much to my shame. This is NOT what I want for my life, so I am getting back into the Word today, and preparing to pick back up on reading the bible in a month in just a few short days.
Today was a difficult day for me, truth be told. After a long awaited time to have my end of the year discussion at my job, I got my annual raise. This year, my annual raise was actually nothing. Nothing! Not a penny higher than last year! I would like to say I am bitter or upset - I am shocked and sad because though I feel like I deserved some variance of a compensation of a year well done - but at the end of the day, it has nothing to do with my raise. The numeric’s are my last concern. Honestly I truly cannot help but wonder with a great amount of nervousness what God is planning to do in my life.
I say this because as I was thinking options over around July of last year, I began wondering to myself how I would know what God was telling me to do in the area of leaving. How would I know when I got the green light from God to do this, this, or this? I talked with God and joked over what would be ways he would tell me which thing he wanted me to do. One of the things that I thought of that would be a 'sign' is that, and I quote my own thoughts here, if I didn't get a raise then that would be God's way of telling me that I should no longer be at Chase and start my life towards the mission field. (At the time of this thought I was very actively pursuing the idea of the World Race, something I STILL want to do)
Normally when I ask a question on here, it is sarcastic, and the answer to my question is meant to be obvious - not this question though. Is this a coincidence? That question I asked myself was a stipulation I placed on my spiritual life as a marker of something crazy that would never happen. I'm very good at my job, so of course I would get a raise. It was more of a joke than anything else. Yet here I stand in January, wondering if this is God's quirky way of saying, "Well if you wanted a tangible sign so badly..."
Am I being assumptive of God; or am I just trying to run from what he might be saying? I don't really know. I don't want to ignore God's call, that's my fear, but I do need clarity from him. So right now, that is my biggest prayer request of all.
Am I being crazy, or is God telling me to pack my bags and get ready for serious change? I don't know.
Today was a difficult day for me, truth be told. After a long awaited time to have my end of the year discussion at my job, I got my annual raise. This year, my annual raise was actually nothing. Nothing! Not a penny higher than last year! I would like to say I am bitter or upset - I am shocked and sad because though I feel like I deserved some variance of a compensation of a year well done - but at the end of the day, it has nothing to do with my raise. The numeric’s are my last concern. Honestly I truly cannot help but wonder with a great amount of nervousness what God is planning to do in my life.
I say this because as I was thinking options over around July of last year, I began wondering to myself how I would know what God was telling me to do in the area of leaving. How would I know when I got the green light from God to do this, this, or this? I talked with God and joked over what would be ways he would tell me which thing he wanted me to do. One of the things that I thought of that would be a 'sign' is that, and I quote my own thoughts here, if I didn't get a raise then that would be God's way of telling me that I should no longer be at Chase and start my life towards the mission field. (At the time of this thought I was very actively pursuing the idea of the World Race, something I STILL want to do)
Normally when I ask a question on here, it is sarcastic, and the answer to my question is meant to be obvious - not this question though. Is this a coincidence? That question I asked myself was a stipulation I placed on my spiritual life as a marker of something crazy that would never happen. I'm very good at my job, so of course I would get a raise. It was more of a joke than anything else. Yet here I stand in January, wondering if this is God's quirky way of saying, "Well if you wanted a tangible sign so badly..."
Am I being assumptive of God; or am I just trying to run from what he might be saying? I don't really know. I don't want to ignore God's call, that's my fear, but I do need clarity from him. So right now, that is my biggest prayer request of all.
Am I being crazy, or is God telling me to pack my bags and get ready for serious change? I don't know.
Day 39
Posted by
Karissa
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There are days where I don't really want to stop my life and pursue the things of God. There are days where pulling out the Word seems more of an inconvenience than an actual privilege. I know how unchristianlike this may sound, but honestly, it can be absolutely exhausting! On this side of heaven, it will always be a struggle for me to chase after God the way I wish I could. I know that it is important to be in the word. I know very well that I need his influence in my life, yet regardless, there are days where I want nothing more than to take a break and relax.
That's how today has been for me.
I did not want to drag out my devotional book, did not want to blog; I just wanted a day to myself. I do not for a minute 'feel' at all that this is what I want to do. I don't have a reason as to why I feel so passive today, all I know is that I just don't want to today.
Begrudgingly (very begrudgingly) I brought out my devotional book and will be reading my bible as though I wanted nothing more than to head dive into the pages, regardless that this really is the last thing on my mind right now.
One thing that I have told other people, the same thing that I am telling myself right now, is that days like this are the most important to invest yourself in God's word. There will be days, many more days in fact, where I feel the exact same; where I just don't feel like serving God today. Regardless, God's call to obedience prevails.
I can't help but think of various characters all across the bible who had been confronted by God to accomplish a task. As God directed his children, most of the things he asked them to do were fairly unwelcomed ideas to that particular individual. God told Moses to go back to Egypt to confront debatably the most powerful man of his time. God called Abraham to sacrifice his long awaited son - the first fruits of a promised nation. After a long pointless day of fishing, Jesus called Peter to cast his net into the lake again, regardless the fact that their luck had been close to nil all day long.
When God called them to obedience, I doubt any of them completed their tasks with a skip in their step and a smile on their face. I would be shocked if that had been the case actually. What God was calling them to do very much negated their earthly wisdom and it brought them to an instant decision of faith.
It isn't easy to obey! When you take out the semantics behind it all, we just don't want to. Much like a child being told to clean their room, when God lovingly tells us what we need to do, we find one word itching to come from our lips: 'No!'
It is hard to fathom how different our bible stories would be had the people we now view as spiritual leaders decided to take a day off and pretend to not hear God's direction. Obedience was so crucial for them! If they had decided to not follow after God's call, imagine what they would have missed! God has blessed their work more than they could have possibly imagined and used them as everlasting pieces and examples in his very Word, an eternal beacon to mankind - what an incredible honor!
The thing that I have to remind myself is that we are working with the same God, meaning that when God calls me to obedience, what am I risking when I say no? That thought is equally as scary.
I don't really want to read my bible and put in the effort needed to keep a relationship with God today. My attitude says I'll do it tomorrow, but God says do it today. As much as I want to be lazy and pretend that I've earned this down time, even I in all my weakness know that I need God every single day and moment.
I may not want to, but I will. I choose to obey God.
That's how today has been for me.
I did not want to drag out my devotional book, did not want to blog; I just wanted a day to myself. I do not for a minute 'feel' at all that this is what I want to do. I don't have a reason as to why I feel so passive today, all I know is that I just don't want to today.
Begrudgingly (very begrudgingly) I brought out my devotional book and will be reading my bible as though I wanted nothing more than to head dive into the pages, regardless that this really is the last thing on my mind right now.
One thing that I have told other people, the same thing that I am telling myself right now, is that days like this are the most important to invest yourself in God's word. There will be days, many more days in fact, where I feel the exact same; where I just don't feel like serving God today. Regardless, God's call to obedience prevails.
I can't help but think of various characters all across the bible who had been confronted by God to accomplish a task. As God directed his children, most of the things he asked them to do were fairly unwelcomed ideas to that particular individual. God told Moses to go back to Egypt to confront debatably the most powerful man of his time. God called Abraham to sacrifice his long awaited son - the first fruits of a promised nation. After a long pointless day of fishing, Jesus called Peter to cast his net into the lake again, regardless the fact that their luck had been close to nil all day long.
When God called them to obedience, I doubt any of them completed their tasks with a skip in their step and a smile on their face. I would be shocked if that had been the case actually. What God was calling them to do very much negated their earthly wisdom and it brought them to an instant decision of faith.
It isn't easy to obey! When you take out the semantics behind it all, we just don't want to. Much like a child being told to clean their room, when God lovingly tells us what we need to do, we find one word itching to come from our lips: 'No!'
It is hard to fathom how different our bible stories would be had the people we now view as spiritual leaders decided to take a day off and pretend to not hear God's direction. Obedience was so crucial for them! If they had decided to not follow after God's call, imagine what they would have missed! God has blessed their work more than they could have possibly imagined and used them as everlasting pieces and examples in his very Word, an eternal beacon to mankind - what an incredible honor!
The thing that I have to remind myself is that we are working with the same God, meaning that when God calls me to obedience, what am I risking when I say no? That thought is equally as scary.
I don't really want to read my bible and put in the effort needed to keep a relationship with God today. My attitude says I'll do it tomorrow, but God says do it today. As much as I want to be lazy and pretend that I've earned this down time, even I in all my weakness know that I need God every single day and moment.
I may not want to, but I will. I choose to obey God.
Details
Posted by
Karissa
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Today I was having a discussion with my father while I was at work. This is not something unusual. I have some question or some smart remark and start a chat line, and it goes from there. I often try to pry his brain for opinions and thoughts over something I am reading, options in my life, whatever the case may be.
Without getting into a huge amount of detail, it has been an interesting past few days as circumstances in my life lead me for want of wisdom. Naturally I go to those I trust and tell them what's on my mind and gain feedback from them in attempts to gain wisdom. In addition, I have been in God's word, praying for guidance, the wisdom to know what to do, and the strength to actually do it.
Eloquence aside, it's hard to know exactly what to choose in life. I am a very firm believer that there IS an absolute truth (his name is Jesus Christ.) yet there are so many times in life where we are not choosing between right and wrong. We are choosing between tea or coffee. Blue jeans or sweat pants? To add another dimension, better or best?
Our life is so very full of choices - and they all have impact on us! Choosing the correct path is absolutely crucial in the life of a born-again believer. Throughout the entire bible you can see God expressing the importance of pursuing after wisdom, yet often times we tell ourselves the lie that our decisions don't really matter. What we choose about our jobs, our music, our friends, does not really matter. It's a small detail. God doesn't care about those areas of our lives. He looks at the heart and teaches us to be followers of him. Small day to day choices don't matter to him in the grand scheme of eternity, so why worry about it?
When worded like that, it is easy to look and say, 'No, that is incorrect.' yet if that is truly how we feel, why do our lives reflect something else? If we understand God DOES care about the tiny, seemingly unimportant details of our lives, then why do we not turn to him about them? Why do we only turn to him when there is something impossible that needs to be done? Are we the judge of what is or is not great to the eyes of God?
When we decide to filter out areas of our life by what we deem to be important or otherwise, we are walking a very dangerous line! When we allow him in as Lord of our life, he becomes the Lord of our life. Lord of the 'I really need to go to the gym more often.' Lord of the 'I hate traffic. Hate it!' and Lord of the 'My sister is driving me nuts!'
He is the creator of life! He can handle the day to day grind of this world better than we ever will be able to!
I ask myself why it is so hard to be honest with God in these small areas of life. For me, it's not that I hoard them from God per say, but because they are such small details, I've never seen it as important so I never even think to allow God's influence over them. A part of me seems to correlate that because God is so 'up there' and so heavenly, there's no way that the day to day details of my life even apply to him!
How could they? He lives in the spiritual realm and that's a realm I catch mere glimpses of! I am very much a part of the physical realm and that is just how it is going to be until I reach the other side of eternity.
I can assure you that God is very aware of the physical realm, and in fact very interested in what his people write off as unimportant.
Case and point, Leviticus.
I would like to say that after reading the book I gained an appreciation of God's holy nature, but I would be lying. I got to chapter three and shut my bible because my stomach was upset from reading (in vivid detail thank you) about boils and leprosy.
BOILS? Really?! God is moving his people to the promised land and he wants them to know about boils??
Put blunty, it was disgusting! I remember thinking as I was reading, 'Gracious Jesus - do you really have to be so discriptive? I don't want to know!!'
Isn't that funny though? God can beat me in the who can gross who out first game of life! There is nothing I can take to God that he isn't prepared to handle, no matter how large or small.
One thing that I did get out of Leviticus is that God isn't just prepared to walk us through the small day to day choices and situations we come to in life, but he wants to! Throughout the book, God is incredibly specific over what can seem like the tiniest of details to us, yet to God it is important enough that he decides to place these things in his everlasting word. He didn't have to bring any of those details up. He didn't have to explain to his people that touching dead animals is bad; he didn't have to explain any of it. After all, to quote myself earlier, God is so 'up there' and so heavenly, there's no way that the day to day details of my life even apply to him!
How very untrue and assumptive of me. God is the God of all that is so be it trivial or otherwise, he wants us to come to a place where we are willing to devote it all to him.
Without getting into a huge amount of detail, it has been an interesting past few days as circumstances in my life lead me for want of wisdom. Naturally I go to those I trust and tell them what's on my mind and gain feedback from them in attempts to gain wisdom. In addition, I have been in God's word, praying for guidance, the wisdom to know what to do, and the strength to actually do it.
Eloquence aside, it's hard to know exactly what to choose in life. I am a very firm believer that there IS an absolute truth (his name is Jesus Christ.) yet there are so many times in life where we are not choosing between right and wrong. We are choosing between tea or coffee. Blue jeans or sweat pants? To add another dimension, better or best?
Our life is so very full of choices - and they all have impact on us! Choosing the correct path is absolutely crucial in the life of a born-again believer. Throughout the entire bible you can see God expressing the importance of pursuing after wisdom, yet often times we tell ourselves the lie that our decisions don't really matter. What we choose about our jobs, our music, our friends, does not really matter. It's a small detail. God doesn't care about those areas of our lives. He looks at the heart and teaches us to be followers of him. Small day to day choices don't matter to him in the grand scheme of eternity, so why worry about it?
When worded like that, it is easy to look and say, 'No, that is incorrect.' yet if that is truly how we feel, why do our lives reflect something else? If we understand God DOES care about the tiny, seemingly unimportant details of our lives, then why do we not turn to him about them? Why do we only turn to him when there is something impossible that needs to be done? Are we the judge of what is or is not great to the eyes of God?
When we decide to filter out areas of our life by what we deem to be important or otherwise, we are walking a very dangerous line! When we allow him in as Lord of our life, he becomes the Lord of our life. Lord of the 'I really need to go to the gym more often.' Lord of the 'I hate traffic. Hate it!' and Lord of the 'My sister is driving me nuts!'
He is the creator of life! He can handle the day to day grind of this world better than we ever will be able to!
I ask myself why it is so hard to be honest with God in these small areas of life. For me, it's not that I hoard them from God per say, but because they are such small details, I've never seen it as important so I never even think to allow God's influence over them. A part of me seems to correlate that because God is so 'up there' and so heavenly, there's no way that the day to day details of my life even apply to him!
How could they? He lives in the spiritual realm and that's a realm I catch mere glimpses of! I am very much a part of the physical realm and that is just how it is going to be until I reach the other side of eternity.
I can assure you that God is very aware of the physical realm, and in fact very interested in what his people write off as unimportant.
Case and point, Leviticus.
I would like to say that after reading the book I gained an appreciation of God's holy nature, but I would be lying. I got to chapter three and shut my bible because my stomach was upset from reading (in vivid detail thank you) about boils and leprosy.
BOILS? Really?! God is moving his people to the promised land and he wants them to know about boils??
Put blunty, it was disgusting! I remember thinking as I was reading, 'Gracious Jesus - do you really have to be so discriptive? I don't want to know!!'
Isn't that funny though? God can beat me in the who can gross who out first game of life! There is nothing I can take to God that he isn't prepared to handle, no matter how large or small.
One thing that I did get out of Leviticus is that God isn't just prepared to walk us through the small day to day choices and situations we come to in life, but he wants to! Throughout the book, God is incredibly specific over what can seem like the tiniest of details to us, yet to God it is important enough that he decides to place these things in his everlasting word. He didn't have to bring any of those details up. He didn't have to explain to his people that touching dead animals is bad; he didn't have to explain any of it. After all, to quote myself earlier, God is so 'up there' and so heavenly, there's no way that the day to day details of my life even apply to him!
How very untrue and assumptive of me. God is the God of all that is so be it trivial or otherwise, he wants us to come to a place where we are willing to devote it all to him.
Day 33
Posted by
Karissa
comments (0)
Its crazy to think that just a month ago I was sitting in my car realizing just how badly I needed to allow God into my life and stop my habitual roller coaster style of living.
It's only been one month of my two month goal and I already feel like it has been such an adventure for me as I see God working and changing things around me. As a review for myself, I want to list out where I have seen God working. I want to remind my future self for when I read this again (because I know I will) how faithful God is, as well as how powerful he is to move in my life, personally.
As I have been reading in the past month, I have seen the importance of allowing myself to be apart of the body of Christ. Not soon after, God provided open doors for me to become further involved in the church as I had been praying for. This continues to happen, in fact.
I talked to my youth group about how I know God is leading me to be an encouragement to others. Since then, God has placed multiple people in my life that allow me to talk to them and explain not only where I am spiritually and what God has been showing me, but also allowing me to step in speaking honestly with them in areas of improvement as well.
Something that I didn't pray for but God did anyway, is bring a co worker into my life that is a huge encouragement to me as she is living out her spiritual life! We go to the gym together and talk about what God is doing in our lives, and have real honest communication about the day to day life we are living right now. It is such an encouragement and blessing to me - one that I didn't even know how badly I wanted until it fell right in my lap!
In summary of the past month, the only thought that perfectly fits, is God is moving.
From day one, God is always bringing me to the next step and challenging me to continue to pursue after him. There has never once been a day where he said, 'Well you did good yesterday! Let's take a breather for now, and tomorrow we'll pick it up again.' As I write this with a sort of smirk on my lips, it's something I think we all struggle with as we serve God. We know we are in the word, we are involved in the church, we pray - SURELY we can handle just one day of doing things on our own?
As obvious as the answer is, it is still a struggle to day by day run back to God because often times I feel so confident that I don't need it.
For where I am today, there are so many different things on my heart that it would be hard to perfectly post everything that I am thinking. The top of the list right now is direction.
Over the past few weeks, I have become less and less satisfied with where I am right now. I know in the past that God has called me to the mission field, and here I am, still in Springfield. That hasn't really bothered me too much before, but lately, I have become rather restless. It's not that I want to pack up my bags and leave right now because with what God is doing in my life, I see that he has me rooted where I am for a reason.
Where I do get restless though, is that I don't have a plan to get out! My youth group leader a few weeks ago said something very simple, but regardless it has stuck with me and really shaped my thinking over what action I plan on taking from here. He said that a dream without a plan, is just a wish.
So true! God may not be calling me to leave today, but I know that he has told me one day I will get that call. Unfortunately, as I am right now, I am not prepared to get up and go.
Granted I have NO idea where God is calling me to go and I don't have the time frames, but if I am not prepared to go, I'll stay where I am now and God will keep on moving right past me. I don't want that at all! When God calls me to go, my answer needs to be YES LORD!
There are four things that I am thinking about as options right now to take my next step in following after God, while also preparing myself for what he has already revealed to me.
1. New Tribes
I will be visiting the campus (and family!) during March, seeing if that is a possible direction God is having me to go. If I were to go, I have NO idea how finances would work out, but that's not a major concern right now. God will provide.
2. OTC/medical
I have always wanted to pursue a career in the medical field, which would be very useful on the field. This option is pretty easy because not TOO much changes, I will just need to be a bit more disciplined with my time and finances come the fall semester.
3. Summer Missions trip
This one is fairly obvious - I want to go on a short terms missions trip maybe for a month or so over the summer. I want to see what God is doing around the world, and break out of the day to day monotony.
4. The World Race
I would LOVE to do the world race, and come July, I will finally be of age to go! This option is incredibly tempting, but incredibly costly, and incredibly insane. I want to do it!
Those are the things that I am thinking about pursing in the future to better prepare myself for what God had called me to. I will be praying about this and praying for direction as he leads me.
Right now these are my prayer requests. If God wants me to go and further my (non-existent) education, I pray he paves the way for that. If he wants me to stay in Springfield and grow, I pray he gives me the patience I need to allow myself to grow and not get discouraged as I see others leave and go around me.
It's only been one month of my two month goal and I already feel like it has been such an adventure for me as I see God working and changing things around me. As a review for myself, I want to list out where I have seen God working. I want to remind my future self for when I read this again (because I know I will) how faithful God is, as well as how powerful he is to move in my life, personally.
As I have been reading in the past month, I have seen the importance of allowing myself to be apart of the body of Christ. Not soon after, God provided open doors for me to become further involved in the church as I had been praying for. This continues to happen, in fact.
I talked to my youth group about how I know God is leading me to be an encouragement to others. Since then, God has placed multiple people in my life that allow me to talk to them and explain not only where I am spiritually and what God has been showing me, but also allowing me to step in speaking honestly with them in areas of improvement as well.
Something that I didn't pray for but God did anyway, is bring a co worker into my life that is a huge encouragement to me as she is living out her spiritual life! We go to the gym together and talk about what God is doing in our lives, and have real honest communication about the day to day life we are living right now. It is such an encouragement and blessing to me - one that I didn't even know how badly I wanted until it fell right in my lap!
In summary of the past month, the only thought that perfectly fits, is God is moving.
From day one, God is always bringing me to the next step and challenging me to continue to pursue after him. There has never once been a day where he said, 'Well you did good yesterday! Let's take a breather for now, and tomorrow we'll pick it up again.' As I write this with a sort of smirk on my lips, it's something I think we all struggle with as we serve God. We know we are in the word, we are involved in the church, we pray - SURELY we can handle just one day of doing things on our own?
As obvious as the answer is, it is still a struggle to day by day run back to God because often times I feel so confident that I don't need it.
For where I am today, there are so many different things on my heart that it would be hard to perfectly post everything that I am thinking. The top of the list right now is direction.
Over the past few weeks, I have become less and less satisfied with where I am right now. I know in the past that God has called me to the mission field, and here I am, still in Springfield. That hasn't really bothered me too much before, but lately, I have become rather restless. It's not that I want to pack up my bags and leave right now because with what God is doing in my life, I see that he has me rooted where I am for a reason.
Where I do get restless though, is that I don't have a plan to get out! My youth group leader a few weeks ago said something very simple, but regardless it has stuck with me and really shaped my thinking over what action I plan on taking from here. He said that a dream without a plan, is just a wish.
So true! God may not be calling me to leave today, but I know that he has told me one day I will get that call. Unfortunately, as I am right now, I am not prepared to get up and go.
Granted I have NO idea where God is calling me to go and I don't have the time frames, but if I am not prepared to go, I'll stay where I am now and God will keep on moving right past me. I don't want that at all! When God calls me to go, my answer needs to be YES LORD!
There are four things that I am thinking about as options right now to take my next step in following after God, while also preparing myself for what he has already revealed to me.
1. New Tribes
I will be visiting the campus (and family!) during March, seeing if that is a possible direction God is having me to go. If I were to go, I have NO idea how finances would work out, but that's not a major concern right now. God will provide.
2. OTC/medical
I have always wanted to pursue a career in the medical field, which would be very useful on the field. This option is pretty easy because not TOO much changes, I will just need to be a bit more disciplined with my time and finances come the fall semester.
3. Summer Missions trip
This one is fairly obvious - I want to go on a short terms missions trip maybe for a month or so over the summer. I want to see what God is doing around the world, and break out of the day to day monotony.
4. The World Race
I would LOVE to do the world race, and come July, I will finally be of age to go! This option is incredibly tempting, but incredibly costly, and incredibly insane. I want to do it!
Those are the things that I am thinking about pursing in the future to better prepare myself for what God had called me to. I will be praying about this and praying for direction as he leads me.
Right now these are my prayer requests. If God wants me to go and further my (non-existent) education, I pray he paves the way for that. If he wants me to stay in Springfield and grow, I pray he gives me the patience I need to allow myself to grow and not get discouraged as I see others leave and go around me.
Spiritual Harlots
Posted by
Karissa
comments (1)
I often have to stop and just take a moment to laugh at how silly I can be. Sometimes I feel that I get so lost in living the Christian life that I forget what actually makes up my spiritual life - GOD!
Yesterday was a busy day, so busy in fact that once again I found myself laying down for the night, only then realizing that I hadn't once opened the bible that day. This is particularly ironic because my goal was to read the entire bible in a month, however after being sick for a straight six days, this fell by the wayside. For now I read as per usual. Maybe next month.
I hope this doesn't sound terribly prideful, but overall, I am feeling good about my spiritual life. I see God moving in my life, I see him answering my prayers, I see him opening doors - its a very exciting place to be. I somehow became satisfied with this, and gave myself a pat on the back. I've just got it all together right now. I'm happy. God is moving. God is good. I have everything exactly the way I want it.
As I read my bible last night, God reminded my prideful self just how together I really have it. I was reading Proverbs seven and every time I have read that chapter before, I have always read it in a literal fashion, where it is ultimately saying 'Avoid the harlot.'
Well, check. No harlots here.
As I read through the chapter, almost skimming it at places because this chapter really didn't apply to me, I couldn't help but feel I was missing something. As easy as it is for me to say that I don't struggle with visiting harlots, I had to reflect on not only what I was saying, but also what and who the harlot is.
The role of the harlot has always been one of interest to me. She tests the bounds of a relationship, and every time one is confronted with her, they will make a decision one way or another. Her offer is simple, yet in its simplicity, deadly. She entices people to negate what they know is best for instant gratification, regardless morals or care of the other person. A harlot ultimately says, "YOU are god. You do what you feel like because you say so."
As much as I had told myself before that this harlot is not someone I need to worry about - is she any different from any sin or any temptation I struggle with today? Is sin's offer any different from hers?
I think not.
As I continued reading the chapter in this mindset, I realized just how easy it is to find yourself in the way of a harlot; in the way of anything that entices you to turn your eyes off God for even a moment. Because we live in a world where we are tied side by side to our sin nature, I dare say there are spiritual harlots everywhere. So many different things catch our eye and we pursue them, negating the God that sacrificed so much to free us from that very sin we are pursuing once more.
It's a horrifying reality.
These past few days I have allowed myself to sort of lay back and take a spiritual breather, because its all going so well. I am very quick to be comfortable with where I am, to the point where I stop chasing after God and filling myself with his influence. As I was reading over Proverbs, I can't help but wonder if this was the case of the young man mentioned.
'I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house, In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night: And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot'
When I read the chapter, I don't get the vibe that he was purposely seeking after evil. To me, it sounds more like this guy was just going about his day to day life, albeit rather carelessly, when he happens to run into her. In the following versus it shows her seducing him, meaning that he wasn't seeking her attentions directly - if his sole purpose had been to see her, she would've never had to put on such a performance.
Perhaps it was his home town; he may have walked down that roads hundreds of uneventful times without so much as a peep from any ill-wishers. As much as I like to read between the lines, this much IS obvious - he was not on his guard. Though his intention may not have been to walk to her doorstep, in his comfort that's exactly what he did.
How unfortunate for him! The moment he lowers his guard, she is waiting for him and is his very demise just a few versus later.
How very like sin! The moment we think we have it together, sin seems to magically spring forth from the cracks we thought we had once covered so well. How unfortunate for us! We have to actively guard our hearts and constantly, daily, return to the God who fights our battles for us, who gives us joy, and provides us purpose because there are those waiting for just the right moment to tear us to the ground.
We do not stand on our own!
As I was reading my devotions today in Experiencing God, how ironic (not) that the chapter was titled 'Total Dependence on God' and reviewed the fact that we much rely solely on him as we live out our lives here on earth.
Talk about a wake up call!
God does not want us to fall prey to the clutches of sin, but when we boldly walk down the paths of our lives and become comfortable in our stride, certain that what we've already been equipped with will get us through, we will fall!
The bible says 'Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.'
As much as I would like God to be a flashlight or a set of headlights, he gives us a lamp for direction. It makes it so we have to rely on him, step by step. When we grab that lamp and start with a mad dash onward because 'we've seen this much of the path already so surely we can figure out the rest', we're going to fall down in the darkness.
God is supposed to be the one to lead us, and luckilly for us, he very much so longs to be our trusted guide.
When we allow that to happen, only then do we stand.
Yesterday was a busy day, so busy in fact that once again I found myself laying down for the night, only then realizing that I hadn't once opened the bible that day. This is particularly ironic because my goal was to read the entire bible in a month, however after being sick for a straight six days, this fell by the wayside. For now I read as per usual. Maybe next month.
I hope this doesn't sound terribly prideful, but overall, I am feeling good about my spiritual life. I see God moving in my life, I see him answering my prayers, I see him opening doors - its a very exciting place to be. I somehow became satisfied with this, and gave myself a pat on the back. I've just got it all together right now. I'm happy. God is moving. God is good. I have everything exactly the way I want it.
As I read my bible last night, God reminded my prideful self just how together I really have it. I was reading Proverbs seven and every time I have read that chapter before, I have always read it in a literal fashion, where it is ultimately saying 'Avoid the harlot.'
Well, check. No harlots here.
As I read through the chapter, almost skimming it at places because this chapter really didn't apply to me, I couldn't help but feel I was missing something. As easy as it is for me to say that I don't struggle with visiting harlots, I had to reflect on not only what I was saying, but also what and who the harlot is.
The role of the harlot has always been one of interest to me. She tests the bounds of a relationship, and every time one is confronted with her, they will make a decision one way or another. Her offer is simple, yet in its simplicity, deadly. She entices people to negate what they know is best for instant gratification, regardless morals or care of the other person. A harlot ultimately says, "YOU are god. You do what you feel like because you say so."
As much as I had told myself before that this harlot is not someone I need to worry about - is she any different from any sin or any temptation I struggle with today? Is sin's offer any different from hers?
I think not.
As I continued reading the chapter in this mindset, I realized just how easy it is to find yourself in the way of a harlot; in the way of anything that entices you to turn your eyes off God for even a moment. Because we live in a world where we are tied side by side to our sin nature, I dare say there are spiritual harlots everywhere. So many different things catch our eye and we pursue them, negating the God that sacrificed so much to free us from that very sin we are pursuing once more.
It's a horrifying reality.
These past few days I have allowed myself to sort of lay back and take a spiritual breather, because its all going so well. I am very quick to be comfortable with where I am, to the point where I stop chasing after God and filling myself with his influence. As I was reading over Proverbs, I can't help but wonder if this was the case of the young man mentioned.
'I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house, In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night: And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot'
When I read the chapter, I don't get the vibe that he was purposely seeking after evil. To me, it sounds more like this guy was just going about his day to day life, albeit rather carelessly, when he happens to run into her. In the following versus it shows her seducing him, meaning that he wasn't seeking her attentions directly - if his sole purpose had been to see her, she would've never had to put on such a performance.
Perhaps it was his home town; he may have walked down that roads hundreds of uneventful times without so much as a peep from any ill-wishers. As much as I like to read between the lines, this much IS obvious - he was not on his guard. Though his intention may not have been to walk to her doorstep, in his comfort that's exactly what he did.
How unfortunate for him! The moment he lowers his guard, she is waiting for him and is his very demise just a few versus later.
How very like sin! The moment we think we have it together, sin seems to magically spring forth from the cracks we thought we had once covered so well. How unfortunate for us! We have to actively guard our hearts and constantly, daily, return to the God who fights our battles for us, who gives us joy, and provides us purpose because there are those waiting for just the right moment to tear us to the ground.
We do not stand on our own!
As I was reading my devotions today in Experiencing God, how ironic (not) that the chapter was titled 'Total Dependence on God' and reviewed the fact that we much rely solely on him as we live out our lives here on earth.
Talk about a wake up call!
God does not want us to fall prey to the clutches of sin, but when we boldly walk down the paths of our lives and become comfortable in our stride, certain that what we've already been equipped with will get us through, we will fall!
The bible says 'Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.'
As much as I would like God to be a flashlight or a set of headlights, he gives us a lamp for direction. It makes it so we have to rely on him, step by step. When we grab that lamp and start with a mad dash onward because 'we've seen this much of the path already so surely we can figure out the rest', we're going to fall down in the darkness.
God is supposed to be the one to lead us, and luckilly for us, he very much so longs to be our trusted guide.
When we allow that to happen, only then do we stand.
Change
Posted by
Karissa
comments (0)
I don't know why people get surprised when they see God work, and I mainly say this to myself right now. We pray and pray and pray and when God actually answers, we lift our eyebrows in surprise; shocked to the core that God responded. It is as though we would have been more satisfied to pray for years in repetition than to actually see anything happen. We expect to pray and keep praying - we don't actually expect anything tangible to happen afterwards.
Why is this?
If we don't think God can work through our prayers, why do we pray at all?
Today, I was gifted with one of the most rare, shocking opportunities that can only be explained by God actively working in both his Word, and in my prayer life. As I have been reading and pursuing God, he reveals to me the importance of following him on my own accord - the fact that it is a personal decision I have to make day by day. I have to take my place in the body of Christ as a functioning part - I do not have the luxury of sitting around and doing nothing. God has called me to action! As God shows me where I am lacking and where I am needing to improve to better serve him, I respond to his call and pray that he give me opportunities to exercise and live out what he has chosen to reveal to me.
A part of what God is communicating to me is the need to be an encouragement to people that have fallen and need someone willing to point them in the right direction. God uses his people to point his children back to him, and in most cases, I am the one people have to pick off the ground and say, "Come on Karissa, we can do this together" and so on. One of the first things I prayed to God was that he allow me the opportunity to step up and show fellow believers that I DO care, and that I want to be a part of their life in Christ.
God was very quick to bring me people that need that encouragement and accountability - so many in fact that I am constantly coming back to him for that strength and energy to keep going. It is work to point people to Christ, more so than I would have ever imagined. I cannot tell you how tempting it is to tell these very same people that look to me for direction to say, 'Look. Stop floundering! Either stand or fall, I could care less!'
This is clearly not the message God wants me to give his people. He wants to show them his grace and kindness. He wants to show them his love and perfection, yet at the same time, his unbending holiness. As much as I would love to be a mouth piece for God, I cannot do this day after day like I wish I could. I get tired. I get cranky. I don't like seeing people struggle - I am not God! It takes my going back to God day by day to get a renewed patience and care for the people he has placed in my life. I cannot do it without him! How ironic is it that the very God that sent those people to me, knew very well that I would NEED his strength to keep me going and serving him?
As much as I have been blessed through this process, God continues to push me even further, past what I had ever expected. Today one of my sisters started talking to me about some options in her life. This particular sister is not one that I ever give advice to, never talk to God about, never try to be overly serious with, because she is the one that often leads me to stray from God. In further detail, I have been given the advice from others to run from her because of her ability to influence me.
God seems to enjoy showing me just how powerful and real he is. Out of all the people I would have wanted to give a serious pep talk, pick up the pieces of your life and just do it sort of conversation, she would by far be at the bottom of the list. It's not that I don't love her - she's my sister, of course I care - but there's just so much in the past between us that makes me feel inadequate. I am not able to be a help to her. She has gone through so much, and I am nothing more than her little sister. What could I possibly have to offer her?
Yet what did I talk to her about today - her marriage.
HER MARRIAGE.
As a reminder, I am not married. I am not even in a serious relationship. If there is one area that I really don't have any input in, it is for the area of marriage. As much as I wanted to stop and say, "Hey I don't feel qualified to help you" that's not what happened. I knew that it was God telling me to step in her life because though I don't have personal knowledge of what it takes to patch together a broken marriage, I know someone first hand who created marriage, and knows exactly what it takes to make a broken marriage come together and be a blessing to both people once again. What better knowledge could I have possibly given her?
It is great to give people first hand advice, but at the end of the day, people need to hear the Truth. (Note the capital t. Truth is not an idea, Truth is a person! God IS truth!) The bible says his Word will not return void - we don't have the same guarantee for the advice we give people based off what we have seen in the world, just his Word.
God is so real and so personal. The longer I read his Word the more I see it. We serve a living God. What a blessing!
Why is this?
If we don't think God can work through our prayers, why do we pray at all?
Today, I was gifted with one of the most rare, shocking opportunities that can only be explained by God actively working in both his Word, and in my prayer life. As I have been reading and pursuing God, he reveals to me the importance of following him on my own accord - the fact that it is a personal decision I have to make day by day. I have to take my place in the body of Christ as a functioning part - I do not have the luxury of sitting around and doing nothing. God has called me to action! As God shows me where I am lacking and where I am needing to improve to better serve him, I respond to his call and pray that he give me opportunities to exercise and live out what he has chosen to reveal to me.
A part of what God is communicating to me is the need to be an encouragement to people that have fallen and need someone willing to point them in the right direction. God uses his people to point his children back to him, and in most cases, I am the one people have to pick off the ground and say, "Come on Karissa, we can do this together" and so on. One of the first things I prayed to God was that he allow me the opportunity to step up and show fellow believers that I DO care, and that I want to be a part of their life in Christ.
God was very quick to bring me people that need that encouragement and accountability - so many in fact that I am constantly coming back to him for that strength and energy to keep going. It is work to point people to Christ, more so than I would have ever imagined. I cannot tell you how tempting it is to tell these very same people that look to me for direction to say, 'Look. Stop floundering! Either stand or fall, I could care less!'
This is clearly not the message God wants me to give his people. He wants to show them his grace and kindness. He wants to show them his love and perfection, yet at the same time, his unbending holiness. As much as I would love to be a mouth piece for God, I cannot do this day after day like I wish I could. I get tired. I get cranky. I don't like seeing people struggle - I am not God! It takes my going back to God day by day to get a renewed patience and care for the people he has placed in my life. I cannot do it without him! How ironic is it that the very God that sent those people to me, knew very well that I would NEED his strength to keep me going and serving him?
As much as I have been blessed through this process, God continues to push me even further, past what I had ever expected. Today one of my sisters started talking to me about some options in her life. This particular sister is not one that I ever give advice to, never talk to God about, never try to be overly serious with, because she is the one that often leads me to stray from God. In further detail, I have been given the advice from others to run from her because of her ability to influence me.
God seems to enjoy showing me just how powerful and real he is. Out of all the people I would have wanted to give a serious pep talk, pick up the pieces of your life and just do it sort of conversation, she would by far be at the bottom of the list. It's not that I don't love her - she's my sister, of course I care - but there's just so much in the past between us that makes me feel inadequate. I am not able to be a help to her. She has gone through so much, and I am nothing more than her little sister. What could I possibly have to offer her?
Yet what did I talk to her about today - her marriage.
HER MARRIAGE.
As a reminder, I am not married. I am not even in a serious relationship. If there is one area that I really don't have any input in, it is for the area of marriage. As much as I wanted to stop and say, "Hey I don't feel qualified to help you" that's not what happened. I knew that it was God telling me to step in her life because though I don't have personal knowledge of what it takes to patch together a broken marriage, I know someone first hand who created marriage, and knows exactly what it takes to make a broken marriage come together and be a blessing to both people once again. What better knowledge could I have possibly given her?
It is great to give people first hand advice, but at the end of the day, people need to hear the Truth. (Note the capital t. Truth is not an idea, Truth is a person! God IS truth!) The bible says his Word will not return void - we don't have the same guarantee for the advice we give people based off what we have seen in the world, just his Word.
God is so real and so personal. The longer I read his Word the more I see it. We serve a living God. What a blessing!
Invitation
Posted by
Karissa
comments (1)
There is a great positive to reading so much of the bible at once, and that is the fact that for hours you are in the word, reminding yourself and seeing once again the past history of a God that is still with us today. Perhaps the biggest downside of reading so much is that you don’t exactly have a huge amount of time to sit and digest, otherwise the time needed to get through the various chapters could very easily hit four to five hours plus.
This morning on my way to work, I tried to think of what exactly it was that God had been showing me in these past few days of intense reading. I’m not quite sure what I was expecting from reading so much of the bible at once day after day, however, I must admit that I was expecting to be and feel different than I do. To be honest, I feel normal. I still feel like bland, day to day in the grind Karissa. This wasn’t what I was hoping for! I wanted fireworks and a huge spiritual encounter with God each and every time I opened his word! I wanted a burning bush or something other than, ‘Today I need to read this, this, and this. Let’s get it done.’
Later on in the evening, I packed my things and headed towards the long awaited prayer room that my church is hosting over the weekend. I armed myself with my guitar, music and bible - the trusty things that help me focus on God - and awaited my scheduled timeslot to begin. Naturally optimistic, I was at the church twenty minutes early because after reading and reading and still not feeling like I had heard much from God that day, I was determined to hear him speak. I wanted to know that everything I was doing was not just a waste of my time, and that my efforts to draw closer to him were not in vain.
As for the prayer room and what it is composed of, the prayer room is a combination of various things around the room geared to bring you into a deeper prayer experience with God. Instead of sitting in a chair and praying for an hour or two hours straight, there are tables set up around the room to lead your thoughts to different areas that need your prayer. There is a table where you can sit and read missionary’s letters to the church. There is a board where you can post a note with the names of your unsaved family and friends, as well as see the names others have written down before you. Perhaps my favorite area of the prayer room is a variation of the Wailing Wall, where you can write what your prayers are and what you are struggling with, people you want to pray for, anything.
You start to see that people of all ages struggle and are broken with the exact same things that you would have never thought that anyone cared about but you! As the body of Christ returns to God in prayer and pours out its heart before him, we catch a glimpse of the fellowship and closeness God has always intended for his people to partake in. That is what the unity of Christ is all about!
Though I can barely believe that I'm saying this, after a full two hours of being in the prayer room and spending that time focused solely on him, I can honestly say that the prayer room last night wasn’t all that special. It was beautifully decorated, very calming - all the things it always is - yet as I sat there and talked with God, I found it was no different from the moments where I had talked with him in my car, where I had whispered a broken prayer to him while walking to the mailbox; all those moments where I was honestly pursuing God were just as real and just as powerful as the hours I had spent in the prayer room.
I have known for years that the prayer room itself is nothing special. I know that the small room in South Side Baptist church is not God’s earthly home where he permanently dwells – but it was always incredible to be there, to meet with God. That’s why I looked forward to it year after year. It was always the one place I could go, and KNOW that God would show up. He always did. Every time.
I can’t say I left the prayer room disappointed, because I wasn’t; I had talked with God. Though I may not have gotten the fireworks and emotional high that I thought I was looking for, what I got was even better:
An invitation.
Today in my reading, God was talking with Moses, telling him to go to Mount Sinai, and be there. Just be there! God was on the move, his newly restored people traveling to the Promised Land, and God just wants to stop and commune with his (begrudging) servant Moses? What an awesome God!
Better still, the God of today is the same God we see in the Old Testament. He has never stopped inviting his people to come and just be with him. The bible itself is our own invitation from God. ‘This is my love letter to you! Can’t you see all these things I have done to be with you and restore you to myself? Look! Look at this great price I have paid so I can be with you for eternity. I want you to be there with me – I have already done the work for you, just be there!’
Incredible. I will never get used to the fact that we serve a living God who delights in us. It is simply mind boggling.
I love the prayer room, but normally I get the most out of it while I am there, investing in him and spending time being honest and growing closer to him. Last night, I by far got the most out of leaving the prayer room as I thought over exactly what that meant. God didn’t stay in the prayer room, waiting for me to come back to him later in the week, year after year.
When I left the prayer room, God came with me!
The Beginning
Posted by
Karissa
comments (0)
Credit where it's due, this was not my original idea. To get the schedule or see exactly where my info is coming from, here is where I found it: http://bibleinamonth.blogspot.com/
So today I will have various posts, but that's ok. For now, I want to review yesterdays reading, which as one can imagine, starts in Genesis.
When I read the bible, I try to place myself in whatever situation is happening to make it as practical as possible. It's so easy to forget that the tales we read so often are about real people, with real feelings, and real confusion, who are working with a just as real God.
For this story, I like to pretend I am an angel - don't judge me, just hang tight! I choose this because God just exists. So in the eternity between then and now where time does not exist and ‘day after day’ is the exact same glorious, heavenly whatever happens up there, SOMETHING happens. For an eternity of infinite time, there is something completely different that cannot be compared to anything that had ever happened before. The God that has been living perfectly forever and ever has decided to make something new.
If I had been serving God, singing his praises for an insurmountable time and suddenly he creates this completely new, wonderful, perfect world … I can only imagine how much praise he must have received as his angels and cherubim’s and heavenly beings praised his new creation that only expounded upon how much praise and worship he deserved. At the beginning of the world, God says multiple times that it was good. Do you know how many times God says that anything is good? Jesus himself was called ‘Good Master’ from a young ruler, and Jesus corrects him! God does not take this term lightly – yet here in the beginning – IT. WAS. GOOD.
WOW!
More questions I ask myself as we read though the beginnings of the world, is how long did Adam and Eve live and communicate with God before the fall? Not that it really matters at the end of the day, but for me, I love reveling in the idea that for some timeframe, God enjoyed coming down to communicate with his creation. It was good! God could come down and inhabit the earth; there was no sin to push him away!
She couldn’t have known all the pain and devastation it would cause. The world was good! See, darkness isn’t darkness – darkness is nothing more than a lack
I think of my sister’s miscarriage. She didn’t deserve it. She did nothing to cause that small child to die, yet it all falls back to sin. When Eve choose to bring sin in the world, things weren’t good. Things weren’t right anymore. Things that shouldn’t happen, happen – and they will continue to happen until God fully casts out the evil from this world.
There is just something about reading about how the earth began that makes you have to read how it ends. Almost every time I read Genesis, I have to turn to Revelation, to remind myself that not even the great, overbearing, evil darkness of the world – not even that – is too great for God to overcome!
He is the ultimate redeemer. He is perfect.
Granted I did not turn to Revelation – I turned the page and kept reading so I could get the first day’s reading accomplished, but I will be very happy to read it when I get there. I have to remind myself that God’s work is not done. He will not abandon me, and he won’t abandon the world.
God is coming back, and when he does, I won’t have to pretend to be an angel, I will be there first hand, telling you exactly what happened! What a time that will be!
This may also sound really crazy, but one day I hope to meet Eve. I want to run up to her and give her a hug – because it’s done! There will be such a wonderful sense of finality and justice – just thinking about it gets me excited! Every bad thing that was brought into the world is cast out. I cannot imagine the celebrating we, God’s creation, the people he calls his very children, will do when it is all said and done.
It will be a day that will truly be unforgettable.
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